The Best Gifts

During this Christmas season we can easily get caught up in "things" we want and don't have.  It can be rather frustrating.  I realized that a friend of mine gave me one of the best gifts possible.  When asking me if there was something I wanted for Christmas, I told her I had all I wanted or needed.  It was then that I realized she had given me one of the best possible gifts...contentment!  Thank you for that!!!

...now to continue with that I need to stay away from stores, advertising and the web showing me eye candy of future clutter.

The other gift we can all receive is Jesus.  He came down from heaven to save us.  He gave us His love, His word and His life.  Thank you, Jesus, for being THE BEST GIFT ever and for all eternity.  He only asks that we believe in Him and ask His forgiveness.  I do believe it is that simple.

John 3:16  (NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.    

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+3%3A16&version=NIV

Rest Days

As we move about our daily lives taking care of family, friends and responsibilities - whatever they may be for each of us - let us not forget to rest.  Part of taking care of oneself is resting.  As I've mentioned, I am working toward eating less and a little better, exercising consistently, saving money and utilizing my time in constructive ways.  All of those things are great, but none of it matters without allowing time for rest, relaxation and spending quality time with loved ones. 

Today is my day of rest.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  I visited someone, made a couple phone calls to friends.  I took a nap with Lovely and Pup.  (Pup is very warm on these chilly days.  Curling up with her is quite soothing until she decides to use me as a launching pad for her mischief...Ok, I have to admit, I like that too...she is adorable.)  My final act of relaxation before I watch some TV or curl up with one of my two, currently half finished books, was to make muffins for my children and I.  The house smells sweet and feels warm...soothing and comforting.  :-) 

This is a really nice time of year.  Crisp.  Cool.  Refreshing.  Don't forget to enjoy the colors and rest to keep the body healthy as the winter cold and flu season is fast approaching.  Oh, and I took the day off from exercising too.  I really rested today - emotionally, physically and was fed spiritually at my local church...a great, enjoyable day.  I hope you had a great day too.

More on Starting.

Well, just like starting over and taking responsibility for finances, I've had to do that for my health and wellness too.  One of my children was injured recently.  The child will likely be fine with a little time and some work.  It made me take a look at my own life and health.

...so I started exercising again.  I have to admit that I have missed it.  I also have to admit that I'm ready to do it now.  I had to reach that point, but I don't like starting over.  I used to exercise about two hours a day.  Then, as life fell apart, I became pretty sedentary.  I didn't like that either, but some days, well, one is just satisfied breathing.

I've moved furniture and brought out my weights, yoga mat and other exercise toys.  I went through my dvd collection to see where I wanted to start, and more importantly, where I could realistically start.  I've started at the beginning.  I'm going low weights and sticking with basics.  I've given myself two weeks to stay at this level.  Then I'll add a bit more, go a little heavier and reevaluate again.  I'll progress from there until I am back to the level of strength I want.

I've also accepted that as much as I want to lose some weight, I'm not really ready to go the extra distance to change my eating habits right now.  So, I am willing to accept that I can improve my health through exercise and eating a little less for the moment.  It is a starting point.  It will propel me to the place where I will want to begin clean eating again.  For now, I'm thankful I have a starting point on this topic.

I am glad I found a starting point on the financial topic.  I am surprised at how much I've accomplished in about 2 months.  This sense of accomplishment and the one that will come from exercising will also spur me on to accomplish more.  Starting points are nice because they mean the journey has, in fact, begun. 

Fall is Coming

I love the change of seasons, although the change from summer to fall usually comes too soon for me.  This year is no exception.  According to the records, the temperature is a bit chilly for this time of year.  I agree with the records. 

I didn't feel great today.  The scene was set for making soup and bread today due to the the cool temperature and a need for some rest.  By the end of the day, I felt much better and wasn't feeling let down that another fall might be rushing in.  Yes, it is going to get colder and I probably won't be thrilled with that, but for now there are things to look forward to: bonfires and the wonderful smell that comes with them, toasted marshmallows, savory slow cooker meals, leaves changing colors, the view of the city from a hilltop as the colors come into full peak, sneaking in a few more beautiful warm days and going for walks with Lovely.  We all like different things.  Lovely helps me appreciate cold weather.

I hope you had a beautiful today and wish you a great tomorrow.  Take some deep breaths and enjoy the moments as they come.    

Thinking About What I Don't Do...Another Step Toward Wisdom, I Hope

As I've begun to analyze my motive for things I do or want to do, I've started to think about the things that I don't do.  What are my reasons?  Is it fear?  Lack of faith or trust?  Selfishness?    Maybe its just poor planning on my part that holds me back from some things.  

I'm finding that I may be holding myself back from things because I don't want to face the unknown or come out of my comfort zone.  One example that keeps coming to mind, and I still have time to ponder this decision is a possible trip next year.  At first, I thought I'd love to go.  Then I pondered the finances and while I figured it would be tight, I thought I could potentially swing the expense.  The climate will be hot and humid with the potential for many mosquitoes. 

Recently I spent a little time walking pup in the woods on a hot and humid day.  After about 20 minutes I thought, I hate this!  I decided considering the trip was dumb.  I'd be miserable for the whole week and instead of helping people, I'd be bringing folks down. 

...while I still have not decided what to do, I have decided to revisit the topic and look at all of it again.  Can I handle the expense?  How will it affect my family?  Will it make a difference in the lives of others and my own?  Yes, it is worth looking into.  I don't want to say no to a potentially amazing experience that could benefit others because I don't like mosquitoes and being hot...it seems that might be a little selfish.  

Changes...Always Something

I've been told by many neighbors with regard to owning a house that, "there is always something..." one needs to do maintain or improve the home.  I think that is true.  While contentment is my goal, I agree nothing is really stagnant and somethings need to be done.  We can't stop the world from moving and rotating.  We can't stop the seasons from changing or the cycles of the moon, which by the way, tonight was a beautiful moon!  I was able to enjoy the view with my son as we drove home.

Sometimes I struggle with change because it feels like it conflicts with my desire for contentment.  I've realized this isn't always true.  For instance, painting the bathroom.  If I let the desire to paint the bathroom turn into a complete gut and remodel, then I think I've missed the boat on contentment.  However, if I stick to my plan to do things myself or with help from my family and reuse what we have with some extra cleaning and freshening up, then I've just done what needs to be done to keep the house in good working order.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It's actually a good thing.

Lately,  I've been thinking about continuing my education.  I have a desire to learn more to move to a different job in the coming years.  Yes, I did just recently learn the trade I am in, but I have a burning desire to help human beings, not just animals and if I can do both together, that would be awesome!  I greatly enjoy the folks I work with and hope that I am a positive influence on them and a witness for Christ to them, but my desire to continue my education isn't a lack of contentment based on selfish desire, but a desire to make a positive difference in humanity. 

As I age, I hope to grow in wisdom.  I believe I am taking a step in the right direction by learning to analyze my motives before I move forward with something.  Is it for practical, emotional or selfish reasons?  Will be fixing a problem or creating one?  Will I be setting an example I want my children to follow?  

Quilts Versus a Quilt Block

I have to admit there are times I just get stuck and can't get something finished.  The lack of completion frustrates me!  It doesn't matter if it is a household project or task, a creative piece I'm working on, a garden bed or a quilt, but the latter has helped me to see that I need to take things in steps and baby steps are ok.

I love making quilts, but I often find them unfinished in pieces in various storage areas around my house.  When I stop and think it through.  I find I accomplish much more when I don't set my thoughts on, I'm going to make a quilt today, but rather I'm going to make a quilt block today or design a layout today or cut or wash fabric today.

When I break things out into steps, any task becomes much more manageable and doable.  The goal becomes attainable rather than frustrating.  I can see the progress and that makes me happy.  Let me illustrate with a series of steps to making a quilt.  Others may not do things in this order, but its what I like to do.

I'd like to make a baby quilt.

1.  Look through my fabric stash and select pieces that will work with the idea roaming around in my brain.
2.  Determine the size and shape of the quilt I intend to make this time.  Sometimes I plan them to be a baby gift that might be more useful as a toddler bedspread because perhaps I know someone else is making something smaller.  Sometimes they are square and sometimes rectangle.  I haven't made a circular one yet, but someday that's likely to happen because I like circles.
3.  Take a trip to the fabric store.  Get inspired by what I find that matches what I already have.
4.  Design the layout on paper.  Determine if there will be embroidery.
5.  Calculate the yardage and prepare cutting diagram.  Allow a little extra for errors or design changes...be flexible.  :-) 
6.  Purchase fabric.
7.  Wash fabric.
8.  Press fabric.
9.  Cut fabric.
10.  Embroider as needed.
11.  Begin the process of making patterned blocks.  One at time or with repetition of steps to facilitate faster piecing.  It depends on the project.
12.  Attach the blocks together.
13.  Attach any borders.
14.  Add batting and backing.
15.  Pin layers together.
16.  Design or decide on the quilting pattern.
17.  Do the quilting.
18.  Select and attach binding.  (I hate this step.  This is often why quilts don't get done at my house.  I'm working on a solution to my dislike for attaching binding.)
19.  Take pictures of quilt.
20.  Wrap it up and send it off.  :-)

...that made me tired just going through the steps!

So, as I've been thinking about things these last few weeks, whether it be budget, cleaning - I'm purging a lot from my house, or trying to relax with one of my hobbies, I have decided to look at things from a quilting perspective.  Do I want to focus on the quilt or just a block today?  On any given day, breaking things down to a single block is much more attainable and leaves me knowing that I met my goal and knowing what the next step will be for tomorrow or the day after.

...a funny thing about this blog is that I realized it was a quilt block rather than a quilt.  I hadn't posted here in about 3 months.  I've had one entry I've been working on that I just couldn't finesse.  It left me frustrated.  I'd come back to it and try again and get stuck again.  I realized that I can just let it rest in the storage space and go on to the next block or blocks for now.  It'll still be there later.  Maybe it'll sit and wait for a new design, but in the mean time, I can make other blocks...that sets me free.

Seeing Life Through Pup's Eyes

Have you ever watched a puppy play?  The pup's eyes are alert.  The ears often have an adorable bounce to them, but the most amazing part of seeing a pup or a child play is that everything is new and exciting, no matter how small. 

Today, I watched Pup outside.  She loves to be outside!!!  She was lying in the shade peacefully until a little bug flew past her.  I have no idea what type of bug it was, but Pup was absolutely taken with it.  She followed it for several minutes as it flew in circles low to the ground.  Her little ears were bouncing as she bobbed her head following its flight path down the driveway near the fence.

Watching Pup reminded me there is much joy in the seemingly little things in life.   

I hope you have a joy filled day!  :-)

A Recipe is Just a Guideline.

There are people who are very black and white about everything.  There are people who tend to see things more in gray.  I am one of those people.  As my children were growing up, they heard me say, many a time, "A recipe is just a guideline.  We can substitute or add... if we'd like."   This particular saying lead to what we called, "The Red is Equal Theorem."  Now, mind you, this is an over exaggeration of my substitutions, but basically it meant that anything red could be substituted for anything else red.  For instance, ketchup could be substituted for pasta sauce or a little red paint...I did say this is an exaggeration.  :-)  

It never seemed like a big deal to me at the time, but looking back now, I realize this one simple thing was really a teacher of a fairly big principle.  It taught flexibility. 

Why is flexibility important?  Well, for us physically, it can keep the joints healthy, but that really is a different topic.  In life, flexibility can open our eyes to other points of view.  It can be the thing that keeps us from always having to get our own way.  It helps us to compromise and negotiate.  It can help us to see that often it is more important why someone does something than what the person did.  (Wrong things can be done for right reasons.  People may hurt us, but that was not their intention.) 

For me, especially lately, it has been the thing that has allowed me to roll with the punches life has thrown at me as my life continues to change and evolve into...whatever tomorrow will bring.   Yes, I am prioritizing, but I am open to God's plan.  I want to be in His will for my life.  I will prayerfully focus on my priorities and follow my plans, but I know that things may change in the blink of an eye.  There may be times when I get a little too stuck on me and my way, but ultimately I will do my best to honor God by following him and the path He has for me.  This is why being flexible is an important part of my life and why I'm glad I taught my children that a recipe is just a guideline!

Starting Points

Have you ever had to look at the reality of a situation and really accept it?  ...own it.  ...take full responsibility for it?  It can be hard, really hard.  I've spent the last 2 weeks looking at my finances and analyzing my situation.  It has forced me to:

1.  Take ownership for where I am today.
2.  Admit that I've made mistakes.  (...a whole lot of little ones plus a few doozies add up to present day reality, YIKES!)
3.  Formulate an action plan.  (This could be called a budget.)
4.  Look for means to reduce expenses and preferably do it without sacrificing quality of life or services.  (This may mean change and change is ok.)
5.  Look for means to increase income.
6.  Follow the action plan.  In my case I am using software called YNAB to assist.  Here is a link: http://ynab.refr.cc/FWSB6PV

This process has been good for me.  When one is forced to be fully responsible, can anything other than growth occur?  I'm now prioritizing and looking at both short and long term goals.  Yes, it started simply a numbers thing, but it really got me started asking myself questions about where I want to be in a year, 5, 10 and so on.

In my future, am I planning to live day to day?  Will I be able to live or vacation near the beach in the dead of winter?  What about helping people?  Has my lack of financial responsibility kept me from helping people?  Can I change this course?  I want the freedom to plan and make these decisions.  I want the freedom to be my own boss and to work with the people I love in an industry or industries I love.  What steps do I need to take today, tomorrow and every day after to make this happen?  This is what looking at the numbers has done for me.

Isn't it funny how when one's awareness in one area of life is heightened, it awakens the senses in others too?  What else do I want to evaluate...  How do I spend my time each day?  Diet and exercise?  My words, do they build up or tear down?  What's on your list?  

A Recent Spiritual Conversation

A couple of coworkers and I were in a conversation that lead to one of them saying she has been taught, based on her family's religious traditions, that she would go to hell for something she had done in her life.  It was something lots of people of people have done and a lot more will do it today, tomorrow and the next day.  I know I've done  it too.

At the time, I didn't know what to say.  I am often at a loss for words but later wish I'd have said...

So here is my delayed response.  Is there really anything that God can't forgive?  Well, yes, there is one thing.  It isn't something one does, but rather an omission.  Hmmm.  You are trying to figure this out now, are you not?   Don't fret too hard.  The answer is simple; believe and accept that Jesus Christ, God's only son, suffered, died and was buried for our sins and rose from the dead to conquer death so we could be free from slavery to sin.  Ask Jesus to forgive you and restore your relationship with the Father.

...to NOT do that, that is the one thing God doesn't forgive.

It is sad and odd to me, that we humans have made something so simple, so complicated by adding on rules and regulations.  I wish folks would stick to just focusing on Jesus and the power that comes from being in His presence alone, not the made up, "Jesus plus..." plans we frequently choose to believe.  Finding and following Christ and Him alone is the most gratifying, freeing and difficult thing one may ever do.  Think about it. I hope you will join me on this adventure to hope and trust.

...Bob

There are times we go through terrible things or are in circumstances we simply never would have chosen.  Life is often difficult.  Sometimes we feel like getting out of bed is a really bad idea and that taking the next breath just isn't worth the effort.  I've had times like those.  Oh, I can relate to not wanting to go on, but knowing that you have to.  That's actually the primary reason I wanted to write here.  I learned when it feels like the last thing you want to do is go on, that's when its most important to press through, even when it feels like getting dressed today is going to use all the strength available for the day.  Doing that will help you to become whole again when life feels like a shattered window displaced to a pile of rubble on the ground.

Some things are actually stronger after they've been repaired, like me, for instance.  I think that is often true of the human spirit and it can be true of relationships.  My sister is a fantastic example of this.  She is the single most resilient person I know.  I've learned lots as I've watched her through the years.  She is an amazing woman.  She's gone through almost every kind of trial one can imagine...and somehow she seems to come back stronger each time.  I admire and love her.

This is why I'm writing this.  If we each encourage and inspire those around us to come through difficult times.  If we are willing to put ourselves out there, be real, share our wounds, pain, struggles and triumphs then each of us will be on our way to Becoming a Beacon of Hope to someone in our lives...and then that person can do the same...and so on.  When life sucks and at what feels like the lowest, seeing a Beacon of Hope in someone means the world.

Sometimes the Beacon comes from a stranger.  One Black Friday, only 2 days after my husband stopped his direct deposit from going into our checking account and the same day my refrigerator died, a day after I'd prepared a full Thanksgiving dinner for his entire family, a very short time after he'd started his plan to move out and abandon my children and I, it was then that I met Bob while having a total meltdown, which was unusual for me.  He was an amazing human being who took a few minutes out of his busy Black Friday sales, to pick me up out of the pit in which I was totally stuck.

Bob helped me narrow my refrigerator search down to only 2 choices.  He'd given me very valid reasons not to purchase some of the refrigerators I first looked at.  At the time, he didn't know the state of mind I was in, but he'd seen some obvious things I'd totally over looked...as I said, we got it down to 2 choices and either would work.  Not knowing what was going on in my life and knowing that I was at least temporarily broke without my husband's income, I said, "Well, just let me call my husband first to see if he has anything to say about this because he's paying for it."

Bob innocently said, "If your husband has gone to good husband school, don't worry, either of them will be fine.  He'll just get you whichever one you want."  ...that's when I had my meltdown!  I said through tears, "...good husband school?  If there is such a thing, he hasn't gone because he's leaving us."

At this point, Bob told me how sorry he was.  Then this tall, grandfatherly man gave me a long, big bear hug.  He gave me a few minutes to pull myself together.  When he came back he told me the story of how his wife left him and that it would be hard, but I'd get through this and it would be better than before.  He told me that he is married again and this time it was very good.  They were happy.  When we finished talking, I bought the refrigerator.  After he rang up the sale, I was ready to leave.  He said, "Wait, you can't go yet."  Then he walked around the counter to my side and said, I can't let you leave without a hug.  He told me I could come back and talk to him anytime because he knew sometime it was easier to talk to a stranger and that sometimes you just needed someone to listen.  It's been over 4 years since I met Bob.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I tried to go back to see him and tell him thank you.  He'd made a difference in my life.  I'd thought of the conversation we'd had many times.  After several trips to the store, I finally asked when he'd be there.  Sadly, I was handed an obituary.  Bob died at only 65 years of age and only two months after we'd met.  I wept for this man I'd only met once and for his family because they'd lost such a wonderful man.  I believe what was written about him is likely true, that the angels did welcome him into heaven.

I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to meet him.  Maybe he was an angel in disguise.  I'll never know.  I do know that he made a difference in my life in that brief meeting.  He became A Beacon of Hope.  He showed me how to do it.  He made me want to do it.

Thank you again Bob.

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Emotional, Physical and Relational Health

Over the years, I've gone through a variety of health cycles.  Sometimes I exercise and eat right.  Sometimes I do one but not the other.  Sometimes I do both and even get enough sleep.  Sometimes,  none of those things happens and I don't take care of myself at all...like when I was totally broken.  I was a mess, barely wanting to survive. 

In my head, I know the best scenario is to eat a well balanced, fairly clean diet combined with weight training, getting enough rest and do some heart pumping exercises which I generally hate.  However, sometimes getting from head knowledge to practical application is a really l - o - n - g stretch.  Well, today was the first time in at least 3 months I had a great workout.  (If we talk about a good workout on a consistent schedule, well, that's a whole different story!  ...like a couple years.)  I have someone else to thank for this, a friend who hasn't given up on me.

I accepted an invitation to workout because I know the time has come to jump back on the wagon and care about me.  I have a follow up in place with the friend and an adjustment in my work schedule to  accommodate and continue following the plan.  The funny thing is, better I take care of me which may seem selfish, the better I feel both physically and emotionally and therefore the more useful I can be to my loved ones.  When I feel better, I am able to love more.  I can do more with higher levels of confidence which I get as I eat right, exercise more and continue to take care of me.  As I transition from the way we have been eating, you can read that as grab whatever you can find fast, to meal planning and eating more whole unprocessed foods, the health of my family will also improve.  All these things, emotional, physical and relational health, go together.

Despite the snow, spring is here.  Call a friend and plan a walk this week.  Try 5 or 10 minutes to start.  I hope you are glad you did it!  I was.  I'm looking forward to Friday.  See you at the gym, friend.

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Accepting Help Is Ok!

I'm kind of stubborn sometimes.  Ok, lets be brutally honest.  I'm pretty set in my ways and stubborn most of the time.  I generally love to be the one who is saying, "what can I do for you?" I find it humbling and annoying to be the one who needs help.  I especially didn't like it when I was TOTALLY BROKEN, but at least then I knew I needed it!  I was, and still am, so grateful for those who were and are there for me!!!

Something I realized over the last few weeks is that being able to accept help is a really good thing, even when you don't feel like you should have to.  I have a new job.  Yesterday, I felt like I was sinking.  I found the courage to actually ask for help and stand quietly hoping someone would offer.  I have to say, it was both awful and freeing.  I don't like that I needed help.  I want to be competent at my job.  Who doesn't?  ...but, knowing that the others were there and so willing to give it, well, that is just awesome!!!  So, it is ok to receive!  Remember how good it feels and don't forget to offer a helping hand the next time you can.  Someone may love you a little more for it!  :-)  ...and think of the joy the other person will get when helping you.  Giving and receiving is a two way street.  I think life was designed that way to keep us in balance.

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Love Flows From Obedience

Sometimes we act in loving ways simply out of obedience to our Master and Creator.  I guess this is something I've known for quite a while, but I recently had a vivid demonstration of this in action with my dogs, and of course, I know I am not their creator.
 
My most favorite and always loyal dog, (I'll call her Lovely.), is the leader of my little pack.  She has the final say in what the other dogs can or can not do in our house and especially who else is allowed in my bed.  (That should probably say our bed, because it is as much hers as it is mine.  She has her spot.  I have mine.  It works well.)

A short time ago, Lovely adopted Pup.  She loves that often annoying, yet somehow absolutely adorable little beast.  She lets it do things to her that she doesn't even like me doing.  I'm not supposed to touch Lovely's tail, but Pup, she can touch Lovely's tail, kneed it with her paws and after turning in about 6 little circles, settle into that fuzzy warm tail for a comfy nap.  Lovely lets Pup in my bed without any hesitation.  Anytime.

Earlier this morning, I watched "The Ladies" interact as I was trying to get that last few minutes of sleep.  My lovely and her pup were on the bed. Lovely's step sister, Sis, came into the room as she often does.  Lovely growls a bit as Sis whines to me.  Sis is often scared to pass Lovely, even though Sis is at least twice the size of Lovely.  After watching this for a few minutes, I said to Lovely, "Come on, let her up here.  I said its ok."  Lovely snarled just a bit more.  I repeated it to her and invited Sis on the bed.  It took Sis a minute before she was willing to accept the invitation, but as I watched Lovely put her head down in submission to my wishes, it was then that I realized, sometimes I need to act in loving ways, even to the whiny crabs around me, simply to please my Master, as well.  A little act of kindness might be just what someone else needs today.

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Copyright

If you copy this, please be fair and post a link so that others may know your source.  If I knowingly quote someone, I will do my best to share the source.  

Thank you.

Introduction

Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Hope.  There are times it has felt like it should be Despair, Angered or Betrayed, but to all things a passing season.  My hope is that this will be an uplifting retreat for you when you visit.  I can not promise to write daily; life is happening, but I hope this little spot on the web will bring a smile and some joy to your day as you invest a little time here every now and then.

Blessings.