...Bob

There are times we go through terrible things or are in circumstances we simply never would have chosen.  Life is often difficult.  Sometimes we feel like getting out of bed is a really bad idea and that taking the next breath just isn't worth the effort.  I've had times like those.  Oh, I can relate to not wanting to go on, but knowing that you have to.  That's actually the primary reason I wanted to write here.  I learned when it feels like the last thing you want to do is go on, that's when its most important to press through, even when it feels like getting dressed today is going to use all the strength available for the day.  Doing that will help you to become whole again when life feels like a shattered window displaced to a pile of rubble on the ground.

Some things are actually stronger after they've been repaired, like me, for instance.  I think that is often true of the human spirit and it can be true of relationships.  My sister is a fantastic example of this.  She is the single most resilient person I know.  I've learned lots as I've watched her through the years.  She is an amazing woman.  She's gone through almost every kind of trial one can imagine...and somehow she seems to come back stronger each time.  I admire and love her.

This is why I'm writing this.  If we each encourage and inspire those around us to come through difficult times.  If we are willing to put ourselves out there, be real, share our wounds, pain, struggles and triumphs then each of us will be on our way to Becoming a Beacon of Hope to someone in our lives...and then that person can do the same...and so on.  When life sucks and at what feels like the lowest, seeing a Beacon of Hope in someone means the world.

Sometimes the Beacon comes from a stranger.  One Black Friday, only 2 days after my husband stopped his direct deposit from going into our checking account and the same day my refrigerator died, a day after I'd prepared a full Thanksgiving dinner for his entire family, a very short time after he'd started his plan to move out and abandon my children and I, it was then that I met Bob while having a total meltdown, which was unusual for me.  He was an amazing human being who took a few minutes out of his busy Black Friday sales, to pick me up out of the pit in which I was totally stuck.

Bob helped me narrow my refrigerator search down to only 2 choices.  He'd given me very valid reasons not to purchase some of the refrigerators I first looked at.  At the time, he didn't know the state of mind I was in, but he'd seen some obvious things I'd totally over looked...as I said, we got it down to 2 choices and either would work.  Not knowing what was going on in my life and knowing that I was at least temporarily broke without my husband's income, I said, "Well, just let me call my husband first to see if he has anything to say about this because he's paying for it."

Bob innocently said, "If your husband has gone to good husband school, don't worry, either of them will be fine.  He'll just get you whichever one you want."  ...that's when I had my meltdown!  I said through tears, "...good husband school?  If there is such a thing, he hasn't gone because he's leaving us."

At this point, Bob told me how sorry he was.  Then this tall, grandfatherly man gave me a long, big bear hug.  He gave me a few minutes to pull myself together.  When he came back he told me the story of how his wife left him and that it would be hard, but I'd get through this and it would be better than before.  He told me that he is married again and this time it was very good.  They were happy.  When we finished talking, I bought the refrigerator.  After he rang up the sale, I was ready to leave.  He said, "Wait, you can't go yet."  Then he walked around the counter to my side and said, I can't let you leave without a hug.  He told me I could come back and talk to him anytime because he knew sometime it was easier to talk to a stranger and that sometimes you just needed someone to listen.  It's been over 4 years since I met Bob.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I tried to go back to see him and tell him thank you.  He'd made a difference in my life.  I'd thought of the conversation we'd had many times.  After several trips to the store, I finally asked when he'd be there.  Sadly, I was handed an obituary.  Bob died at only 65 years of age and only two months after we'd met.  I wept for this man I'd only met once and for his family because they'd lost such a wonderful man.  I believe what was written about him is likely true, that the angels did welcome him into heaven.

I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to meet him.  Maybe he was an angel in disguise.  I'll never know.  I do know that he made a difference in my life in that brief meeting.  He became A Beacon of Hope.  He showed me how to do it.  He made me want to do it.

Thank you again Bob.

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