...Bob

There are times we go through terrible things or are in circumstances we simply never would have chosen.  Life is often difficult.  Sometimes we feel like getting out of bed is a really bad idea and that taking the next breath just isn't worth the effort.  I've had times like those.  Oh, I can relate to not wanting to go on, but knowing that you have to.  That's actually the primary reason I wanted to write here.  I learned when it feels like the last thing you want to do is go on, that's when its most important to press through, even when it feels like getting dressed today is going to use all the strength available for the day.  Doing that will help you to become whole again when life feels like a shattered window displaced to a pile of rubble on the ground.

Some things are actually stronger after they've been repaired, like me, for instance.  I think that is often true of the human spirit and it can be true of relationships.  My sister is a fantastic example of this.  She is the single most resilient person I know.  I've learned lots as I've watched her through the years.  She is an amazing woman.  She's gone through almost every kind of trial one can imagine...and somehow she seems to come back stronger each time.  I admire and love her.

This is why I'm writing this.  If we each encourage and inspire those around us to come through difficult times.  If we are willing to put ourselves out there, be real, share our wounds, pain, struggles and triumphs then each of us will be on our way to Becoming a Beacon of Hope to someone in our lives...and then that person can do the same...and so on.  When life sucks and at what feels like the lowest, seeing a Beacon of Hope in someone means the world.

Sometimes the Beacon comes from a stranger.  One Black Friday, only 2 days after my husband stopped his direct deposit from going into our checking account and the same day my refrigerator died, a day after I'd prepared a full Thanksgiving dinner for his entire family, a very short time after he'd started his plan to move out and abandon my children and I, it was then that I met Bob while having a total meltdown, which was unusual for me.  He was an amazing human being who took a few minutes out of his busy Black Friday sales, to pick me up out of the pit in which I was totally stuck.

Bob helped me narrow my refrigerator search down to only 2 choices.  He'd given me very valid reasons not to purchase some of the refrigerators I first looked at.  At the time, he didn't know the state of mind I was in, but he'd seen some obvious things I'd totally over looked...as I said, we got it down to 2 choices and either would work.  Not knowing what was going on in my life and knowing that I was at least temporarily broke without my husband's income, I said, "Well, just let me call my husband first to see if he has anything to say about this because he's paying for it."

Bob innocently said, "If your husband has gone to good husband school, don't worry, either of them will be fine.  He'll just get you whichever one you want."  ...that's when I had my meltdown!  I said through tears, "...good husband school?  If there is such a thing, he hasn't gone because he's leaving us."

At this point, Bob told me how sorry he was.  Then this tall, grandfatherly man gave me a long, big bear hug.  He gave me a few minutes to pull myself together.  When he came back he told me the story of how his wife left him and that it would be hard, but I'd get through this and it would be better than before.  He told me that he is married again and this time it was very good.  They were happy.  When we finished talking, I bought the refrigerator.  After he rang up the sale, I was ready to leave.  He said, "Wait, you can't go yet."  Then he walked around the counter to my side and said, I can't let you leave without a hug.  He told me I could come back and talk to him anytime because he knew sometime it was easier to talk to a stranger and that sometimes you just needed someone to listen.  It's been over 4 years since I met Bob.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I tried to go back to see him and tell him thank you.  He'd made a difference in my life.  I'd thought of the conversation we'd had many times.  After several trips to the store, I finally asked when he'd be there.  Sadly, I was handed an obituary.  Bob died at only 65 years of age and only two months after we'd met.  I wept for this man I'd only met once and for his family because they'd lost such a wonderful man.  I believe what was written about him is likely true, that the angels did welcome him into heaven.

I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to meet him.  Maybe he was an angel in disguise.  I'll never know.  I do know that he made a difference in my life in that brief meeting.  He became A Beacon of Hope.  He showed me how to do it.  He made me want to do it.

Thank you again Bob.

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Emotional, Physical and Relational Health

Over the years, I've gone through a variety of health cycles.  Sometimes I exercise and eat right.  Sometimes I do one but not the other.  Sometimes I do both and even get enough sleep.  Sometimes,  none of those things happens and I don't take care of myself at all...like when I was totally broken.  I was a mess, barely wanting to survive. 

In my head, I know the best scenario is to eat a well balanced, fairly clean diet combined with weight training, getting enough rest and do some heart pumping exercises which I generally hate.  However, sometimes getting from head knowledge to practical application is a really l - o - n - g stretch.  Well, today was the first time in at least 3 months I had a great workout.  (If we talk about a good workout on a consistent schedule, well, that's a whole different story!  ...like a couple years.)  I have someone else to thank for this, a friend who hasn't given up on me.

I accepted an invitation to workout because I know the time has come to jump back on the wagon and care about me.  I have a follow up in place with the friend and an adjustment in my work schedule to  accommodate and continue following the plan.  The funny thing is, better I take care of me which may seem selfish, the better I feel both physically and emotionally and therefore the more useful I can be to my loved ones.  When I feel better, I am able to love more.  I can do more with higher levels of confidence which I get as I eat right, exercise more and continue to take care of me.  As I transition from the way we have been eating, you can read that as grab whatever you can find fast, to meal planning and eating more whole unprocessed foods, the health of my family will also improve.  All these things, emotional, physical and relational health, go together.

Despite the snow, spring is here.  Call a friend and plan a walk this week.  Try 5 or 10 minutes to start.  I hope you are glad you did it!  I was.  I'm looking forward to Friday.  See you at the gym, friend.

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Accepting Help Is Ok!

I'm kind of stubborn sometimes.  Ok, lets be brutally honest.  I'm pretty set in my ways and stubborn most of the time.  I generally love to be the one who is saying, "what can I do for you?" I find it humbling and annoying to be the one who needs help.  I especially didn't like it when I was TOTALLY BROKEN, but at least then I knew I needed it!  I was, and still am, so grateful for those who were and are there for me!!!

Something I realized over the last few weeks is that being able to accept help is a really good thing, even when you don't feel like you should have to.  I have a new job.  Yesterday, I felt like I was sinking.  I found the courage to actually ask for help and stand quietly hoping someone would offer.  I have to say, it was both awful and freeing.  I don't like that I needed help.  I want to be competent at my job.  Who doesn't?  ...but, knowing that the others were there and so willing to give it, well, that is just awesome!!!  So, it is ok to receive!  Remember how good it feels and don't forget to offer a helping hand the next time you can.  Someone may love you a little more for it!  :-)  ...and think of the joy the other person will get when helping you.  Giving and receiving is a two way street.  I think life was designed that way to keep us in balance.

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Love Flows From Obedience

Sometimes we act in loving ways simply out of obedience to our Master and Creator.  I guess this is something I've known for quite a while, but I recently had a vivid demonstration of this in action with my dogs, and of course, I know I am not their creator.
 
My most favorite and always loyal dog, (I'll call her Lovely.), is the leader of my little pack.  She has the final say in what the other dogs can or can not do in our house and especially who else is allowed in my bed.  (That should probably say our bed, because it is as much hers as it is mine.  She has her spot.  I have mine.  It works well.)

A short time ago, Lovely adopted Pup.  She loves that often annoying, yet somehow absolutely adorable little beast.  She lets it do things to her that she doesn't even like me doing.  I'm not supposed to touch Lovely's tail, but Pup, she can touch Lovely's tail, kneed it with her paws and after turning in about 6 little circles, settle into that fuzzy warm tail for a comfy nap.  Lovely lets Pup in my bed without any hesitation.  Anytime.

Earlier this morning, I watched "The Ladies" interact as I was trying to get that last few minutes of sleep.  My lovely and her pup were on the bed. Lovely's step sister, Sis, came into the room as she often does.  Lovely growls a bit as Sis whines to me.  Sis is often scared to pass Lovely, even though Sis is at least twice the size of Lovely.  After watching this for a few minutes, I said to Lovely, "Come on, let her up here.  I said its ok."  Lovely snarled just a bit more.  I repeated it to her and invited Sis on the bed.  It took Sis a minute before she was willing to accept the invitation, but as I watched Lovely put her head down in submission to my wishes, it was then that I realized, sometimes I need to act in loving ways, even to the whiny crabs around me, simply to please my Master, as well.  A little act of kindness might be just what someone else needs today.

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Copyright

If you copy this, please be fair and post a link so that others may know your source.  If I knowingly quote someone, I will do my best to share the source.  

Thank you.